Is it just me? Or do other parents "lose it," too? I mean, really. You all seem so darned perfect at playgroup or at the park or at the zoo...Do you scream - ever?
I can hold it together for a certain amount of time, and then bam! I find myself yelling.
Today we were preparing to visit some preschools that Parker might attend in the fall. He was sooo excited. It was adorable. He packed his backpack with things he might need...a book, some binoculars, snacks, his blankie, etc. He got dressed. He practiced pulling his underwear up and down (as he understands he must be fully potty trained to attend school). He was completely ready to go by 7am.
Our first appointment was at 9:15.
You can imagine just how antsy he became as time passed. I tried to explain that I needed to get myself and Maddie ready, prepare breakfast, pack a diaper bag, print directions, etc. He groaned, "Mommy, this is taking forever!"
Then the fighting began. He wanted the stupid play keyboard Maddie was holding. I calmly told him to find something he could trade her. I repeated myself about a zillion times and helped him make successful trades about a dozen times. Of course, he would put the toy down, move on, and then wail when she picked it up again. This went on and on and on. Finally they seemed content, so I darted upstairs to throw on my clothes. Then I heard Maddie's distinctive he-snatched-a-toy-from-me-scream.
I had had it. I bellowed (and I mean bellowed) as I bolted down the stairs, "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! Sounds like SOMEONE isn't ready to go to preschool! Because at preschool you have to know how to share! And clearly, YOU do not!"
Wounded. That was his little expression. Tears welled in his big blue eyes. "I'm so sorry, Mommy! I can share. Please let me go to preschool! I really want to go! I'm really sorry."
Knife in my heart. I knelt and held out my arms. I rocked him and apologized and together, we started our day over again.
What terrible and awesome power we have as parents. Oh, let it be my daily prayer I don't abuse it.