Today in the van, Parker was pretending to be me. I decided to take on the role of Parker and give him a taste of his own medicine. I wailed for gumballs. I insisted I needed to get out of the van immediately. I disrespectfully told him, "Yes you will [comply with my demands]!"
Unfortunately, this little social experiment blew up in my face. Parker, acting as me, was very calm and consistent. That part was good.
The bad part was how annoying he was (I am). He never raised his voice, but it was sickeningly sweet. Plus, he never said, 'yes.' Ever. All of his responses were as follows:
I'm sorry, honey.
That would be a 'no.'
That means time-out.
If you do that [hit me], I will lock you in your room [close the door with a childproof lock].
If you do that [throw things at your door], I will set the timer for hours and hours [4 minutes] and you will never ever get out. Ever.
So this is how he sees me. Friendly prison warden. Fantastic.