When your daily activities are in concert with your highest priorities, you have a credible claim to inner peace. – Hyrum Smith


7/25/10

A New Career

Sometimes I daydream about what my life will be like once the kids have grown. What skills am I building today that might one day translate into a paycheck?

I have considered the following careers based upon my experiences as a mommy:

Forensic scientist:
I examined the shrunken, nearly petrified Cheerio. It was located under the car seat of a 21 month old female. It is known that the family has not purchased Cheerios in the last 4 trips to Costco. Given the background information and current state of the cereal, I have determined that said Cheerio is 2-3 months of age, likely served dry.

Treasure hunter:
Donning gloves for the 4th time in 2 days, I began my search anew. If the treasure didn't appear soon, more drastic measures were in order. Ah-ha! Finally - the booty from the booty! The penny was discovered! Crisis avoided.

Medical examiner:
Excrement is bright red in color, and yet it does not appear to be bloody. Upon gathering a detailed diet history from the patient's parents, I have determined red food coloring from a friend's birthday cake is to blame.

Detective:
Flowers everywhere. The vase is broken. Two eye-witnesses - both suspects. Unfortunately, one's language is unintelligible and the other is a known liar. Pool of water near younger suspect. However, given her recent potty-training blunders, this could be urine. Will contact forensic scientist to confirm.

Referee:
Self-explanatory if you've been reading my blog for any length of time or if you have children.

There are more: taxi driver, short order cook, maid, teacher, slave (well now I'm just exaggerating...a little).

Who knew that parenting a child would provide you with such a rich and varied set of skills? Perhaps they should offer it as a highschool class. No, wait. I have a great idea! Perhaps highschool kids could earn credits by coming over and watching my kids! This has merit! Eureka!

1 comment:

  1. You are brilliant and could easily get any of those jobs based on these and similar "cases" I'm certain you could describe at length by potential interviewers.

    However, I must say by far your best suggestion ever was to have high school students get credit for some of this first hand experience you could offer in all these fields just by allowing them to watch your children. The schools (&/o the students themselves) should totally pay you for this service. It's truly priceless which means they should pay big bucks for that experience.

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