When your daily activities are in concert with your highest priorities, you have a credible claim to inner peace. – Hyrum Smith


My Biggest Challenge

One of our pastors today made a pretty disturbing statement:

"Despite your best efforts to offer your child a quality education and enroll him in enriching activities like music or sports and make him into a good, well-rounded person, none of it will really matter in 100 years or so."

I realized he was right. I have been thinking about it for weeks now. The pastor went on to say that the one thing that will be important is whether or not our children had a relationship with the Lord. Again, I agreed. But how???

How does an imperfect, often selfish, hot-tempered mommy reflect God's love adequately to her offspring - enough to make them desire a relationship with Him? I have wrestled with this very question over and over. I have tried to be "better." I have prayed with the kids and taught them Bible verses, but still the nagging fear remained: You'll never be good enough to save them.

And it's true. I can't save my kids. No one human being is responsible for my relationship with God. Many people [I deemed "Jesus freaks" at the time] planted seeds through the years. Eventually, I fell in love.

I remember when I used to hear people say they "fell in love" with Jesus. The whole concept kind of creeped me out. In my mind, true love lead to marriage and other things that I didn't necessarily want to think about doing with my Lord. Know what I mean?

But as my heart softened and I began to read His Word (written for me and to me), I began to see Him as a knight in shining armor. Ready to defend me. Ready to scoop me into his arms and tell me how precious I am to Him. Ready to forgive any and all past offenses. Jealous for my affection. Ready to die for me before I even knew Him. Royalty who loved me first - and waited anxiously for my reply. Who could resist?

I know I did for the longest time. I pray they won't be so stubborn. My greatest hope for my children is that they will truly know the love of the Lord. It's my greatest hope for everyone.

So I will do my part. I will make the introduction and pray my heart out. The rest is in God's hands.


A touching song about God's love by the David Crowder Band: How He Loves


Excerpt from Max Lucado's book It's Not About Me:

But who has plumbed the depths of God's love? Only God has. "Want to see the size of my love?" he invites. "Ascend the winding path outside of Jerusalem. Follow the dots of bloody dirt until you crest the hill. Before looking up, pause and hear me whisper, 'This is how much I love you.'"

Whip-ripped muscles drape his back. Blood rivulets over his face. His eyes and lips are swollen shut. Pain rages at wildfire intensity. As he sinks to relieve the agony of his legs, his airway closes. At the edge of suffocation, he shoves pierced muscles against the spike and inches up the cross. He does this for hours. Painfully up and down until his strength and our doubts are gone.

Does God love you? Behold the cross and behold your answer.


  1. Jessie- thank you so much for posting this! I love hearing your thoughts-- the joys and the challenges, the scary and the safe, the hilarious and the sad. your willingness to share your heart is inspiring and comforting. seriously, thank you.

  2. thanks so much, sandra. i know it doesn't fit with the silly stories i so often share, and so i hesitated to write it at all. it just weighed so heavily on my heart, i had to write about it. i hope my kids will read it one day, and it will speak to them.