When the kids are healthy these days, I wonder why they are not sick. Between preschool, the gym, the church nursery, etc. they are constantly exposed to a plethora of germs. Apparently mere airborne exposure isn't enough to satisfy them. They seem bent on seeking out and ingesting germs. (Like the time when I caught Parker licking the length of the handrail that lead down the ramp into the library, or when Maddie popped a piece of candy in her mouth that was on the floor near a quarter candy machine before I could utter a "nooooo!")
So right now Maddie has a very runny nose. Thankfully it is of the clear variety. Somehow that doesn't gross me out as much as the other kind.
Today as we sat at the kitchen table eating lunch, she complained to me of her runny nose. I was feeding Jack some strained carrots and oatmeal mush (quite a messy and consuming job). I instructed Maddie to go to the bathroom and get a tissue. She argued that she wanted me to get the tissue. I informed her I would gladly do that after I had finished feeding Jack. If she needed one before then [and by the looks of her nose, she would], she'd need to get it herself. Repeat this exchange about 10 times.
"Mommy!" she exclaimed excitedly, "My boogers are gone!"
I glanced up. She was grinning in a delighted, almost surprised manner. Sure enough, it was as if they had miraculously disappeared. I was not so delighted.
"Wow! Where did they go?" I forced a smile.
"I don't know," she replied (still grinning).
"How did you get rid of them?" Neutral tone.
"I don't know." Her smile begins to fade.
"Maddie, did you use your shirt?" Business tone.
She shakes her head and looks serious.
"Your fingers [please no]?" Approaching "mean mommy" tone, thinking about what I'll need to disinfect.
She shakes her head again.
"Your tongue [ewwwww]?" Desperate tone.
Shaking her head again, all of the usual excuses begin to pour out of her little mouth. I could almost watch her nose grow. "I don't know...I forgot...It was an accident..."
"Maddie! Just tell me what you used so I know what I have to clean!"
Realizing she wasn't in any real trouble, she smiled and answered simply, "My pants."
(*Whew*) It makes me cringe to think that I was actually relieved by her answer. When you consider the alternatives, pants don't seem all that bad. Oh, how low have I sunk?!