Aaron likes to listen to country music. I've never been a big fan of it myself, but some of the tunes are quite catchy. The kids love it when daddy drives [the van] because it means they will get to listen to "daddy's music" and get a break from the typical kids' tunes and worship music.
There is a currently a popular country song in which the artist sings, "You're looking so d@*& hot!" Aaron and I have an agreement that the kids can listen to the music as long as he turns the sound down completely during any curse words. We thought it was working. Wrong.
The other day I was driving the van and surfing the radio stations when the kids recognized Aaron's station. "PLEASE can we listen to daddy's music?" Fine. When the popular song came on, Parker was belting it out from the 3rd row. I was giggling (because it's just plain funny to hear him sing in his twangy little country voice). I anticipated the curse word, and dutifully cut the sound, only to hear Parker sing at the top of his lungs: "You're looking so d@^& hot!"
[Cue the screeching tires.] My head whipped around. "What?!" I shrieked. Parker looked at me innocently. "What?"
I focused back on the road and took a deep breath. Surely my ears were mistaken. Maybe he sang dang. Smiling with clenched teeth I asked, "What did you just sing, sweetie?"
"You're looking so [expletive deleted] hot." [matter-of-factly]
"Honey, we don't use that word. That's a bad word, and we don't say it."
Please, for once in your five year old life, don't utilize your elephant-like super-memory and contradict me with embarrassing examples of how we have, in fact, used that very word - like when the tool shelf fell on daddy and his car in the garage.
Parker: Oh, okay. Maybe I'll just say you're looking so good hot. Would that be okay?
Me: [relieved] Sure, whatever. Let's just listen to a CD, k?
I didn't think much more about incident until a few days later. Parker and Maddie were on the back porch, getting ready for some fun in the sun (in our luxurious, plastic kiddie pool). Parker was obviously feeling benevolent and was being uncharacteristically generous and complimentary toward his sister. Sure, Maddie, you can have the water gun. Wanna hold the hose? Wow, Maddie! You're looking hot!
Whoa! Say what?! I mean, I know we live in Kentucky and all, but I felt the need to draw the line here.
I explained to Parker that while I understood he was trying to be nice and let his sister know her bathing suit was pretty, there was a better way to express his approval. At first he looked at me as if I were from another planet. Then he shook his head as if he understood completely and gave me a sympathetic smile. "Oh don't worry, mom, you're looking hot, too."