When your daily activities are in concert with your highest priorities, you have a credible claim to inner peace. – Hyrum Smith


7/19/16

Howdy Neighbors

"If you want a show before bedtime, you have to take a shower first."

I was certain that statement would buy me enough time to clean up the dinner dishes.  Wrong.

They began to shed their clothes like snake skin as they raced up the stairs.  Thump.  Thump.  Thump.

A few moments of blessed silence, and then the yelling began.  "Mom, is this green stuff soap?"  "Mom, which is the shampoo?"  Ugh!  The older two kids had it down and were finished in no time (thanks to the multiple bathrooms in this place).  However, I guess it's a bit much to ask a three and almost five year old to bathe themselves.  Go figure.  I assumed I would be finished cleaning and able to help before they would actually need me.  Wishful thinking.

After helping Jack determine which products to use and helping Caleb take his shirt off, I headed back to the kitchen to finish up.  That's when the screaming began.

"Mom, I think something's wrong with Jack," Parker said worriedly.

My compassion meter seemed to be broken today.  Maybe it just ran out at about hour 4 at the theme park where I was barraged with questions about buying junk food when I'd spent half the morning packing healthy snacks, or maybe it was when I learned Aaron had to work late, or maybe when I'd burned the chicken while tending a crying child.  Whenever I lost my mommy mojo, it was just GONE.

"Tell him to come down," I said tiredly.  (I was in the basement/walkout level, and the boys were up on the 4th level of our split level home.)

Jack came rushing into the kitchen, naked, of course.  "Mommy, somefings wong wif Cawub...He keeps trying to grab my penis!"

Maddie and Parker started giggling at this point.  My mommy eyes were shooting daggers at them.  "And what did you do?" I asked.

"I shouted 'No!' and ran away."

Parker and Maddie began smiling and marching, "Shout 'No!', Run Away!  Tell Someone today!  Shout 'No!', Run Away!  Tell Someone today!"

Gosh, I hope the new neighbors are listening in.  I promise we're not freaks...at least, not all the time! *sigh*

"That's right, Jack, but remember, Caleb is still really little, and your penis is right in his face.  I'll talk to him."

Maddie chimed in, "Well, it's good he didn't grab a girl's private part.  That would be really bad, right mom."

"Yes, that would be bad."

Jack looked perplexed.  "Why?  Girls have penises."

Maddie burst out laughing.  "No they don't!  Girls have vaginas!"

"No, big girls have giant ones," Jack corrected her.

"No, Jack, she didn't say 'giant ones,' she said, 'VAGINAS!'"

Seriously, I am sure my new neighbors, on their back porch, smelling our burnt chicken, watching my kids running around naked, and hearing me shouting about vaginas just can't wait to come over and spend some quality time at our house.