Please try not to judge me. As you can see from the title, this is a confession. I realize this behavior was disgusting...
The problem started long ago but I only realized it was an issue after I got a handheld vacuum for Christmas. I had requested it believe it or not. I loathed the piles of crumbs and food bits on the floor of the van. Goldfish one trip, raisins the next, add some juice, maybe milk, cheerios. By the end of the week, the environment could be considered hazardous to one's health.
So, now thanks to my trusty Shark (vacuum), my car is in terrific shape. I even vacuumed out the car seats. Therein lies the problem...
See, sometimes I run out of snacks. Might not seem like a big deal to folks without small children, but when we run out of snacks on a long car ride [read: over 3 miles], all hell can break loose in mere seconds. It's not that the kids are actually hungry, it is more to keep them from screaming. (We'll worry about obesity in a later post.)
I hadn't realized how much I had relied on a snack I will call "car seat surprise" (where you frantically dig around their little legs - while trying to steer - and pull out whatever snack may have fallen there) until it was gone. This "snack" may be days old. But what's a few extra days to a raisin, I would rationalize. Goldfish don't really go bad, do they? I drew the line at soggy snacks. Even I have standards.
I am sure the grandparents are relieved to read we no longer serve "car seat surprise." Not that I don't want to on occasion. It's just no longer on the menu (or car seat, as the case may be).
1/22/10
1/20/10
Where did I leave my underwear?
Does this question ever come up in your home? If so, is it usually following a wild evening of over-indulgence?
In our house, this question is asked of me on a daily basis. No, Parker hasn't been getting into the "wine juice" (see previous posts). He just loses his underwear. Frequently.
Whenever he has to use the bathroom, he first announces, "I need go potty!" He then strips off his pants and underwear, regardless of his location and/or audience, and runs to the bathroom. I usually follow to see if he needs any help with personal hygiene [read: wiping his behind]. Nowadays, he says, "Mom, can you go outside and give me some privacy?"
After we are all finished, the hunt for the pants (and underwear) begins. Today, we found the pants, but the underwear eluded us. I found it crumpled in a ball a few hours later on a window sill. By the way, those of you who visit our house regularly, don't worry...Clorox wipes are my best friends.
In our house, this question is asked of me on a daily basis. No, Parker hasn't been getting into the "wine juice" (see previous posts). He just loses his underwear. Frequently.
Whenever he has to use the bathroom, he first announces, "I need go potty!" He then strips off his pants and underwear, regardless of his location and/or audience, and runs to the bathroom. I usually follow to see if he needs any help with personal hygiene [read: wiping his behind]. Nowadays, he says, "Mom, can you go outside and give me some privacy?"
After we are all finished, the hunt for the pants (and underwear) begins. Today, we found the pants, but the underwear eluded us. I found it crumpled in a ball a few hours later on a window sill. By the way, those of you who visit our house regularly, don't worry...Clorox wipes are my best friends.
1/19/10
No Comparison
Yesterday I took Parker and Maddie to the Pacific Science Center...by myself. I think it may have been the first time I have taken them to such a large, public place by myself since Maddie started walking. Whoa!
It happened to be Martin Luther King Jr. Day. So of course all of the parents who would normally be at work decided it was the best day to go to the science center with all of their children who would normally be in school. INSANE.
I kept it together. I was patient and calm and tried to be fun-loving as I chased Maddie in one direction and Parker in another. We actually had a really good time. After eating lunch, it was time to go. On the way to the car, we passed a snack stand and Parker requested some cotton candy - his favorite. I was feeling pretty generous, and he had been on his best behavior, so he got a big bag. He was singing happily, "What a lucky day for me!" all the way to the van.
On the way home, I decided we had enough time to stop at a park I'd been wanting to check out called Gas Works Park. Parker agreed it would be a "great idea," so we were on our way.
We climbed all over the giant, brightly colored old gas lines, played in the enormous sand box and ran by the lake shore.
When we got back into the van Parker asked, "Mom, can you pretend to be my Daddy?"
Me: Sure. What does Daddy do that Mommy doesn't?
Parker: Well, he tickles me...and takes me places...
WHAT!?
When Aaron got home from work he asked Parker, "What did you do today, buddy?"
Parker replied, "Nuffin [nothing]...just missed you."
It happened to be Martin Luther King Jr. Day. So of course all of the parents who would normally be at work decided it was the best day to go to the science center with all of their children who would normally be in school. INSANE.
I kept it together. I was patient and calm and tried to be fun-loving as I chased Maddie in one direction and Parker in another. We actually had a really good time. After eating lunch, it was time to go. On the way to the car, we passed a snack stand and Parker requested some cotton candy - his favorite. I was feeling pretty generous, and he had been on his best behavior, so he got a big bag. He was singing happily, "What a lucky day for me!" all the way to the van.
On the way home, I decided we had enough time to stop at a park I'd been wanting to check out called Gas Works Park. Parker agreed it would be a "great idea," so we were on our way.
We climbed all over the giant, brightly colored old gas lines, played in the enormous sand box and ran by the lake shore.
When we got back into the van Parker asked, "Mom, can you pretend to be my Daddy?"
Me: Sure. What does Daddy do that Mommy doesn't?
Parker: Well, he tickles me...and takes me places...
WHAT!?
When Aaron got home from work he asked Parker, "What did you do today, buddy?"
Parker replied, "Nuffin [nothing]...just missed you."
1/17/10
Dr. Jekyll, meet Mr. Hyde
It makes my head spin...the way Parker can be the sweetest little boy you've ever met one minute and a little devil the next.
This morning, he was watching a Curious George cartoon in the main living room. Aaron, Maddie and I were in the office. Maddie toddled away, and soon we heard the scream.
"NO Ma-da!" (Parker's quite capable of saying 'Maddie' but uses 'Ma-da' when he's feeling particularly angry and ornery.) He came running into the office. "Daddy! Maddie turned off the TV! Will you come here and push her down?" Aaron stood calmly and began to walk toward the living room.
Parker ran ahead of him and stood next to Maddie, bending his head down so they were nose to nose, he shouted in her face, "Daddy is coming to push you down, Ma-da!"
Then, a short time later, as we were preparing to leave for church, we overheard Parker whispering to himself and rocking something in his arms. "Bye-bye Squeeze [pair of toy pliers]. We're going to church, but we'll be home." He gave Squeeze a hug and set her down on the floor.
What the heck?
This morning, he was watching a Curious George cartoon in the main living room. Aaron, Maddie and I were in the office. Maddie toddled away, and soon we heard the scream.
"NO Ma-da!" (Parker's quite capable of saying 'Maddie' but uses 'Ma-da' when he's feeling particularly angry and ornery.) He came running into the office. "Daddy! Maddie turned off the TV! Will you come here and push her down?" Aaron stood calmly and began to walk toward the living room.
Parker ran ahead of him and stood next to Maddie, bending his head down so they were nose to nose, he shouted in her face, "Daddy is coming to push you down, Ma-da!"
Then, a short time later, as we were preparing to leave for church, we overheard Parker whispering to himself and rocking something in his arms. "Bye-bye Squeeze [pair of toy pliers]. We're going to church, but we'll be home." He gave Squeeze a hug and set her down on the floor.
What the heck?
1/16/10
Barcode Confusion
Our library is pretty advanced. Perhaps they are like this everywhere now, and I just noticed it since having kids and more frequent visits. Each book has a bar code taped to the front cover, and there are large kiosks outside the library where you can scan books as you return them. When we are about to visit the library again, Parker helps me sort through our books at home, setting the "bar code books" aside so they can be returned.
Today, he was playing with his baseball helmet, spinning it in his hands.
Parker: Mommy, does this have a buckle?
Me: A buckle? Yes, it's just that we took it off for now since you wanted it off.
Parker: No! A buh - code!
Me: (seeing a bar code stuck to the inside of the visor) Oh! A bar code! Yes, it does.
Parker: (sadly) Does that mean we have to return it to the library?
Me: No, you can keep it.
Parker: (hopefully) Forever and ever?!
Me: Yes, forever and ever.
Today, he was playing with his baseball helmet, spinning it in his hands.
Parker: Mommy, does this have a buckle?
Me: A buckle? Yes, it's just that we took it off for now since you wanted it off.
Parker: No! A buh - code!
Me: (seeing a bar code stuck to the inside of the visor) Oh! A bar code! Yes, it does.
Parker: (sadly) Does that mean we have to return it to the library?
Me: No, you can keep it.
Parker: (hopefully) Forever and ever?!
Me: Yes, forever and ever.
1/12/10
Sleep Deprivation/Co-Sleeping
I have determined that I would not last more than 24 hours in Hell Week (Navy SEAL training). The sleep deprivation would be my undoing.
See, I need at least 6 hours of sleep at night to function. Otherwise, I am a crazed, angry, tearful witch with frightening mood swings. Just ask the family members who stayed with us during the first few weeks after the kids were born. In essence, I break.
When we went home for Christmas, Parker had a tough time transitioning into an unfamiliar bed and ended up in the bed with us most nights. It was charming for about 10 minutes. Then I would have a small bony foot in my back or a hard little head stealing my pillow. I wanted him out.
I have friends who co-sleep. I came home from our trip with a nagging suspicion that they truly love their children more than I love mine. It was kind of sad. But every morning when I woke up sore and groggy with Parker stealing more than his fair share of the bed, I was downright angry. How do my friends do it?
Days before our journey home I began preparing Parker. "You know, when we get home you will get to sleep in your big boy bed all by yourself again!" Of course, when we got home, he asked, "Can you please sleep with me?" I almost laughed out loud. Was he insane? I answered, "No," in my best firm but friendly mommy voice, closed the door, and danced into my own bedroom, hugging my roomy mattress.
So back to the quesiton, do my co-sleeping friends love their children more than I love mine?...Perhaps. But I prefer to think that I am giving my children the gift of a loving, well-rested mommy in the morning.
See, I need at least 6 hours of sleep at night to function. Otherwise, I am a crazed, angry, tearful witch with frightening mood swings. Just ask the family members who stayed with us during the first few weeks after the kids were born. In essence, I break.
When we went home for Christmas, Parker had a tough time transitioning into an unfamiliar bed and ended up in the bed with us most nights. It was charming for about 10 minutes. Then I would have a small bony foot in my back or a hard little head stealing my pillow. I wanted him out.
I have friends who co-sleep. I came home from our trip with a nagging suspicion that they truly love their children more than I love mine. It was kind of sad. But every morning when I woke up sore and groggy with Parker stealing more than his fair share of the bed, I was downright angry. How do my friends do it?
Days before our journey home I began preparing Parker. "You know, when we get home you will get to sleep in your big boy bed all by yourself again!" Of course, when we got home, he asked, "Can you please sleep with me?" I almost laughed out loud. Was he insane? I answered, "No," in my best firm but friendly mommy voice, closed the door, and danced into my own bedroom, hugging my roomy mattress.
So back to the quesiton, do my co-sleeping friends love their children more than I love mine?...Perhaps. But I prefer to think that I am giving my children the gift of a loving, well-rested mommy in the morning.
1/9/10
Gone are the days
...of traditional research. Back in my day, if we didn't know the answer to a question, mom would pull out a dictionary or encyclopedia and search for the answer. If that didn't work, we would head to the library.
Yesterday, Parker shouted happily, "Mill-coo!"
Me: Mill-coo?
Parker: Mill-coo!
Me: What does Mill-coo mean?
Parker: (matter-of-factly) You'll have to look it up on-line.
Yesterday, Parker shouted happily, "Mill-coo!"
Me: Mill-coo?
Parker: Mill-coo!
Me: What does Mill-coo mean?
Parker: (matter-of-factly) You'll have to look it up on-line.
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