Around the world in 80 days

Okay, maybe not around the whole world, but at least around some of it.  I have decided rather than having a pity party for myself because it's hard to get around with all my little monkeys, I would put a positive spin on things and write about/post pictures about all the new things we discover.  My goal is to discover 1 new thing every day for the next 80 days and document it here.  I'm sure this largely visual journey will be interspersed with my reflections about faith, culture, and family, and I will also do birthday posts, but the vast majority of the next few months of posts will be short, sweet snapshots of our new life.

I actually started yesterday...We visited Chinatown!  Parker and Maddie were in school.  I strapped Caleb on my back, put Jack in the umbrella stroller, and away we went!  When I realized I would have to cross that horrible intersection (the one with no elevators and the vast underground mall), I almost bagged the whole mission.  I'm so very glad I didn't.  The mall isn't so bad, as long as you ask for directions at every kiosk.  We even stopped and played at the interactive wall.  (I will try to post a video of that at some point.) 

We found the right bus stop, I breathed a sigh of relief and unstrapped Caleb.  Just as I opened our crackers and juice, the bus arrived.  AGH!  I gathered Caleb in one arm, the stroller in the other, and shouted for Jack to climb aboard.  I had no idea what to do.  I had heard you could use the same cards for the bus as the subway, but I couldn't make the darn thing work.  I tried to ignore the stares of the other passengers as the driver shouted instructions I couldn't understand.  I finally deciphered that he was telling me to take the card from its sleeve.  Swipe, sigh, into the nearest seat we sank.

A sweet, elderly woman moved across the aisle so she could chat with us.  She told me the best stop to take for Chinatown (there are 3 or 4).  She rang the bell, took Jack by the hand, and helped us off the bus.  

It was gorgeous!  Hanging, decorative flowers, yummy fried rice and egg custard, beautiful temples, and sweet people stopping to touch Caleb's hair and stroke Jack's cheek.  Can't wait to return with the other kiddos!

Comic Relief

Moving a family with multiple children overseas is challenging.  There are no two ways about it.  I am a positive person, but I am also a realist.  No matter how easy Aaron's company tries to make it, no matter that English is one of the national languages, no matter that our kids are in an American school, it is hard.

I'm talking first world problems here.  Like getting turned around in an underground mall because you can't cross a major intersection on foot so that your 40 minute errand ends up taking 3 hours. Like having two very little, very tired boys in the double stroller when you realize there is NO elevator to take you where you need to go.  Like nearly running over the motorcyclists that zip between the cars when you are just starting to get the hang of driving on the wrong side of the road.  Like not knowing what is in the food you are ingesting.  Like not having a local cell phone (gasp!) so you can't make too many calls on your American phone because you are dreading the bill (even though you added an international plan).  Like not being able to find parking ANYWHERE when you are close to being late for the appointment to obtain your Dependent Pass (something akin to Willy Wonka's golden ticket...you've gotta have one).  Like realizing you only have a debit card, and the only place selling any food only takes cash, and there are no ATMs in sight, and all the kids are crying and hungry and tired, and it's a zillion degrees with 99% humidity.

I can deal with that stuff.  It's the emotional stuff that really gets me.  Like my kids having trouble adjusting to school.  In Texas, Parker attended the small, sweet Ogle Elementary, a mere four doors down the street from our home.  Maddie's tiny Redeemer Day Preschool operated out of church less than a mile up the road.  Now the kids ride a bus 45 minutes to a school with more than 3,800 kids from over 50 countries.  Not too surprising they would be experiencing some culture shock...

The bus ride has been particularly traumatic.  After her very first day of school, between sobs, Maddie informed me her seat mate told her he would never ever be her friend, that she was ugly, ugly ugly, and that he wished to burn her/us/our house down.  "I'm sorry, Mama, but I called him 'ugly' back once," she cried, burying her face in my side.  Well, welcome to Singapore, darling.  Are you kidding me?

I was shaking.  I was ready to hop in our minivan and hunt that kid down and...and...I didn't know what.  Forget it.  By the time I retrieved the car from the garage under our building and strapped the kids in, the bus would be long gone, hidden in a tangle of traffic.

I took a deep breath, wrapped Maddie in my arms, and gently reminded her we are called to love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us.  It pained me to say those words.  I didn't want to pray for this kid, but with the threats he was making, it sounded like he needed it.  I gathered more information from Maddie.  The parent of a kindergartener never gets the "full" story I suppose, but apparently Maddie had been getting along with this guy and then decided to tickle him, at which point, things went south.  Okay, so maybe he was embarrassed and lashed out.

I was able to contact the transportation office and ensure Parker and Maddie would be seat mates for the rest of the year.  I gave it a few days, and when Maddie was still crying before and after school, I decided to email the teacher and counselor.  We were already meeting Friday with the nurse to address her peanut allergy and to give them the blasted Epipen that took 3 hours to acquire (remember that 45 minute errand?). I figured we could address bus boy at that meeting, too.  If only we could make it until Friday...

Meanwhile, the little boys and I had appointments every morning to meet with our darling realtor, Caitlin, to search for permanent housing.  The first day we met, my heart was heavy, worrying about Maddie.  I was tired.   My eyes were puffy from crying.  Jack was whining.  Caleb was Caleb (always smiling, thank goodness).  We toured, we walked, we sweated.  Repeat.

(Caitlin and Caleb)

In the middle of our day, we were at yet another condo, when Jack was whining that he was hot.  I dipped my hands into a nearby fountain and wet his head.  I promised him he could do the same at the pool when we viewed it.  The pool was large and beautiful.  I stood by Jack's side as he carefully bent to wet his hands in the cool water.  We headed for the elevator a few meters away, and by time we reached it, Jack was whining that he was hot again.

Caitlin said cheerfully, "Jack, you have a few seconds before the elevator arrives.  Why don't you run over and wet your hands again?"

"Yes, hurry, Jack!" I called, as he was already running toward the pool.  I muttered sarcastically to Caitlin, "Watch him fall in."

And that's exactly what we did.  We stood there and watched him topple right in!  It was like it happened in slow motion.  Head first, shoes and all, into the deep end he went!  Caitlin shrieked and I began to laugh as we both took off for the pool.  What a sight we must have been, Caitlin in her pretty dress and heels, me with a baby strapped to my chest, fishing this little boy out of the pool!  In the end we were all drenched.

And I couldn't stop laughing.  Between giggles, I praised Jack for knowing exactly what to do, turning the right side up and reaching for the side of the pool (thank you Emler Swim School for all those lessons I thought were overpriced at the time).  He was a bit stunned but fine.  Poor Caitlin sat in a nearby chair looking ready to faint.  Meanwhile, my giggles grew into belly laughs.   I knew I must have looked crazy, but I couldn't stop.  Tears were rolling down my cheeks.  "I called it!  I totally called it," I howled.  Oh, the blessed release that laughter provided!  It was just what I needed.

Of course if Jack had been in any real danger, it would have been no laughing matter.  But he is a decent swimmer and was totally fine (and finally cool!).  This?  This was a blessing from God.  It was comic relief.  It felt wonderful to be laughing instead of crying.  These were the silly, embarrassing, familiar moments of life that I had been missing.  Par for the course when you travel with the Rausch Family Circus!

UPDATE: My meeting at the school went well.  A day later Maddie had her own meeting in the principal's office where she received an apology from the little boy.

Perfect Timing

I have always struggled with living in the moment.  Sometimes I worry about the unknown and overthink things.  Other times, I am too busy happily anticipating the future (packing bags a full two weeks before vacation) to enjoy the present.  Even when the present is peachy, I can taint it with feelings of dread that the good times are sure to end soon.

Just the other night I was filled with worry and dread.  What if my kids misbehaved here?  What if I didn't fit in?  What if I somehow enjoyed myself too much here, getting sucked in by an easy lifestyle and forgetting the needs of others?  What if we didn't choose the right place to live (either too far from Aaron's work or too far from the kids' school) and were miserable? What if?  What if?  WHAT IF???

I cried out to God.  Faithful as always, He answered me.  Verse after verse filled my head.  Humor me and take the time to really read these.  They are life:

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified.  Do not be discouraged.  For The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  John 1:17

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Matthew 6:25

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  John 10:10

It was as if God was whispering, "Stop worrying, child.  Look at what I have already provided.  Enjoy it.  Trust Me."

So I did.  I looked around with new eyes.  Eyes not clouded with fear and anxiety.  Eyes filled with wonder and gratitude.

Our temporary residence is a tropical paradise (see pool below).  The staff is ridiculously friendly and helpful.  Our kids are getting along (mostly).  Our never ending flight here was a huge success (thank you, Jesus...and Benadryl).  An American mom of four small children who has been here for a year has taken me under her wing, showing me the ropes.

As usual, God has anticipated and provided for our every need...And then some.  He perfectly timed our arrival in Singapore to coincide with the annual guest party for our residence.  The invitations were elaborate.  We had been watching them decorate with lovely flowers and center pieces for days.  I was pretty sure our crazy kiddos would destroy the ambiance, so I didn't bother to RSVP, assuming we would just hang out in our room.  However, the day before the party, a staff member approached us and encouraged us to come.  Though we had missed the proper reply date, they graciously allowed us to join and sent a personalized ticket to our room.

It was like something out of a dream.  The huge lobby was filled with the aroma of a mountain of  fresh local fruits and the festive sounds of a traditional band.  The staff were in colorful dresses and suits, offering flowers for female guests' hair.  Once registered, we received tickets for fan painting (Maddie's first choice), caricature mug painting (capturing Jack's essence), henna tattoos (the length of Parker's arm), hand massages, and more.  It was awesome!  Our sweet housekeeper, Dora, whisked Caleb away, smiling, "Go relax, Mama!"  Another staff member took Aaron and I on a tour of the various food stations highlighting the delicious local cuisine.  We sipped wine and chatted with other guests and staff members.

Kids were everywhere.  We allowed Parker to change into swim trunks and join a large group of youngsters in the pool.  Suddenly I was transported back to The Riverwalk pool in Texas, watching a bunch of skinny little boys throwing each other into the water.  Parker's smile was priceless.  Looked like my crazy, rambunctious, American kids were going to be okay after all.

We didn't head back to our room until Caleb began nodding off in the stroller.  What an amazing evening.  How perfect are God's gifts and timing!  I will do my best to show my gratitude to Him by enjoying the gift of the present.

Hotel living

We have been living in one hotel or another for the better part of two weeks.  When we arrived at the trendy Aloft hotel in Dallas, I wasn't quite sure how it was going to go.  It felt weird to drag my small kids past the bar area filled with sharply dressed business people, to enter the aromatherapy-infused, club music-filled elevator, and to see the strange, modern lighting in the halls.  In short, I felt out of place.

Even the room felt foreign.  The two beds were low, there was no bath tub, just a shower with no ledge or lip, and there was a second peephole in the door at eye level with the kids.  At first I wondered if they put all families with small kids in rooms like these.  Finally it dawned on me that we were in a room intended for individuals with physical disabilities.  Does having 4 kids ages 7 and under make us physically disabled?  Perhaps...

I certainly felt incapacitated each time we paraded through the lobby.  Whether I was hissing at one child to hop off the rock sculpture, pulling another's hands out of the decorative fountain, or chasing the baby who had escaped through the motion sensor doors into the parking lot...again, it was pretty clear we were out of our element.

Don't get me wrong.  The kids have been a huge help.  From the start they have done everything in their power to make this place feel like home.  Jack peed on wall the very first time he climbed on the potty.  "Sowwy, Mama.  I  jus forgot to aim down." Meanwhile, Caleb crushed crackers into the carpet and smeared watermelon on the sheets.  Parker left Lego masterpieces on the edge of the table and howled in surprised anguish when they were promptly destroyed by younger siblings.  Maddie left a colorful trail of shoes, clothing, and accessories wherever she went.

Each night we wheeled Caleb's crib into the shower stall, just far enough away from the wall so he couldn't reach the built-in shower gel dispenser.  Each night someone had to use the restroom.  In the lobby.  3 floors down.

Hear me, friends.  I.am.not.complaining.  I promise.  I am attempting to be humorous as I share this slice of our crazy life.  But I recognize this is a crazy, beautiful life.

We tuck our kids into soft beds every night.  Yes, Caleb's crib gets wheeled into the shower, but Caleb is in a crib!  He has a cozy, quiet place to sleep!  So we have to go to the lobby if we have to use the bathroom, we HAVE a bathroom to use.  Modern plumbing is readily available.  We have food to eat at every single meal.  We have the freedom to openly thank God before each meal.  Without fear.

Meanwhile, there are refugees fleeing ISIS.  Refugees with children just like ours and nothing like ours.  Who don't have beds or bathrooms or food or freedom.  Running for their very lives.

Tonight my thought and prayers are with them.  Tonight I am so thankful for this cramped, cozy hotel room.  May we be ever-grateful for the blessings in our lives.

A Love Note

Dear Little Loves,

You will be up in a few short hours, full of energy and light and spirit.  And I will be bone tired.  You will be bouncing from one hotel bed to the next, arguing over who gets to push the elevator, and tearing down the hallways.  I will be pulling up the rear.  You will be vying for my attention at every turn.  I will be stifling a yawn.

We are in the midst of our first international move, and life is challenging right now.  You are subject to new rules and no predictable schedule.  We must be quiet in the hotel halls.  We have to wait for repair and delivery people (sometimes in a sweltering house).  We have to go to doctors and dentists.  Mommy has to send emails and fill out forms.  Your friends are in school all day.

It's not fair.  I know.  I get it.  I wish it were different, my lovey doves.  I really do.  Much is beyond my control at the moment.  I can't even control the time I wake in the morning (1AM today).

But I will tell you what I can control, with God's help.  I can control my attitude.  I can control my voice, my expressions, my words.  I will control them today.  If I have to sink to my knees a thousand times, I will do it.  It is both my prayer and my pledge to you, sweet children.  Because you deserve my best.

I didn't give that to you yesterday.  I gave in to my temptation to complain and become bitter and angry and anxious.  I was rude and mean and set a horrible example.  My heart cringed when I heard the way you spoke to one another, mirroring the way I'd lashed out at you.  I'm sorry, my babies.

I'm sorry, but I'm not despairing.  Today is a new day.  I am forgiven and free to start over.  And that's just what I'll do.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Cor  5:17

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." Isaiah 43:18

Miss you

Dear kids,

Momma misses you so much!
Singapore is really neat!  You are going to love all the sights and sounds and smells.  I can't wait for you to see it! I can't wait to explore with you!

This trip has been really good for mommy.  Everyone says, "Enjoy it!"  What they really mean is, "Enjoy your time away from your kids!"  Guess what I learned?  I can't!

I can't enjoy being away from you.  At least not for this long!  I've only been gone a few days, and I already want to come home and squeeze you!  Sure, I've enjoyed reading, and eating food I didn't have to cook, and using the restroom with the door shut, but kiddos, this life is no real fun without you!

I want Jack to climb up in this big ole bed in the middle of the night and kick me to the edge.  I want to feel Caleb in my empty, aching arms.  I want to show Maddie all the beautiful, interesting flowers.  I want Parker to talk until my ears are tired about Legos, or video games, or the new friends he made in the airport.  Just fill up these big quiet rooms and my empty arms!

I am grateful beyond words for your amazing grandparents who agreed to have their own lives and households disrupted for two weeks and care for you.  I know they are showering you with attention and love.  This is a good experience for our family.  It gives us space and time to miss each other.

This has been good for mommy and daddy, too.  It gives us time to talk and do gross stuff, like kiss and hold hands.  And that stuff's important.  Because one day, you'll be gone for good.  Out of our house.  And that's okay.  God will give me time to get used to that idea and adjust.

You guys are just so little right now.  And it goes so fast.  I can't wait to see you, sweeties.  Be good for your grandparents.

Love,
Mom

Birthday Monkey

Dear Jacky-Jack,

My little monkey.  You just turned three, but you are as tall as a four year old.  You are all smiles and sobs.  You are tickle fights and temper tantrums.  You are my little love.

Jack, you have pined for your birthday celebration all month long.  Unfortunately for you, we celebrated exactly seven birthdays in our home this month before yours finally came along.  Grandpa, Drake, Kane, Eli, Lana, Julie, and Caleb all got to blow out candles around our kitchen table, as you watched, sobbing, "But it's my birfday!"

And then it was.  Only it wasn't.  It wasn't at all what I had envisioned.  No streamers or balloons.  No party plates and napkins.  We didn't even wrap your gifts.  Daddy took you all to pick up the Spiderman ice-cream cake we'd ordered because I was sick in bed with fever and chills.  The moment he got home, all of you kids were so anxious to dig in, I barely made it out of the bedroom in time to sing you "Happy Birthday."

Lucky for you, Ms. Lana saved the day.  A few days after your actual birthday (when mommy was feeling better), we secretly decorated the kitchen and baked cupcakes as you and the others played in your room.  When you emerged, you had an actual birthday party, complete with streamers, balloons, party favors, games, wrapped gifts, and guests.  Your eyes were as big as saucers.  You had a ball!

Oh my little Jack, there is so much I want to remember about you as you are right at this very moment in time.  Your thumb tucked in your mouth, the way you call Caleb "Caywub," your giant toothy grin, the way you say, "your" instead of "you," hearing your little voice sing "Everything is Awesome" from the Lego movie and Neon Trees' "Animal," the fact that you think Lightening McQueen's name is Kachow, the way you carefully secure the straps on your shoes (on the wrong feet), the heaviness of your head on my shoulder, the roundness of your knees and fingertips, your long eyelashes, the way you always answer an "I love you" with an "I wuv you, too."  Though you sometimes still refuse to get dressed, though you forget to flush the toilet (leaving a very tempting mess for baby brother), though you destroy your brother's Lego creations, and use your sister's markers to embellish the tile floors - I will always love you.

Your actions are almost never out of spite.  You are my Curious George.  I love you to pieces, sweet boy.  Happy belated birthday.