Maddie's stink eye...It's lethal. I mean, seriously, if looks could kill, and Maddie gives you the stink eye, you'd be dead.
My friend, Jennifer Hatloe, first identified the deadly stink eye when Maddie was only months old. We were in a Bible study, and Jennifer had offered to take Maddie off my hands for awhile. This wasn't the first time she had held Maddie for me when she was fussy. When Jennifer reached out, Maddie recognized the gesture, and there it was - the unmistakable sneering, pouty-lip, glare.
Jennifer was taken aback. "She's giving me the 'stink eye!'" she exclaimed.
Since that time, Maddie has practically mastered the art of the glare. Her lips pucker out so far that the top lip makes full contact with the bottom of her nose. It's pretty impressive. She does not discriminate when using the stink eye (Aaron and I have both been recipients), although it is pretty much a guarantee that any stranger who dares speak to her will receive this special expression of hatred. I hope to post a picture of it soon!
It amazes me how God made my two children so vastly different. Parker has never met a stranger, and Maddie has never liked one.
2/24/10
2/21/10
Mom Spa
My friend, Serina, recently went to the dentist. She compared it to visiting the spa...and she is so right.
At first glance, you may be hard-pressed to make an association between a standard teeth-cleaning and a luxurious spa experience, but consider this...
You are away from your children, spouse, phone, computer, minivan, and home for at least 45 minutes.
The only way someone is going to contact you is if your child or spouse is on the way to the hospital.
Everyone is speaking in a low tone. You are addressed by your first name. Instrumental music is piped in, mingling with the quiet hum of a drill and the tinkling of laughter from the reception area.
No one is crying, "Mommy," screaming at a sibling, calling from the bathroom so you can wipe a bottom, or asking what's for dinner.
"Would you prefer strawberry or mint [flavor]?" the hygienist asks. She listens to your response and honors your request.
Compare to: "Can I wipe my boogers on you?"
"No! Get a tissue."
You later receive a nuzzling hug and realize when your child pulls back with a devilish grin, your clothes are glistening with...yup.
"Would you like a magazine?" You leisurely thumb through a fashion magazine or celebrity newspaper.
You are not reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the 20th time that day, or about preschool reviews, or holding a squirming toddler (trying to keep her from typing) while hurriedly scanning an email about a playgroup you might be able to squeeze in between naps and dinner.
"Would you like a glass of water?" You sip it.
You are holding something other than a sippy cup, and you really have the time to sip your water...slowly. You will not have to wash this cup later. Ahhh.
I think Serina was spot-on, and I can't wait for my next trip to the dentist!
At first glance, you may be hard-pressed to make an association between a standard teeth-cleaning and a luxurious spa experience, but consider this...
You are away from your children, spouse, phone, computer, minivan, and home for at least 45 minutes.
The only way someone is going to contact you is if your child or spouse is on the way to the hospital.
Everyone is speaking in a low tone. You are addressed by your first name. Instrumental music is piped in, mingling with the quiet hum of a drill and the tinkling of laughter from the reception area.
No one is crying, "Mommy," screaming at a sibling, calling from the bathroom so you can wipe a bottom, or asking what's for dinner.
"Would you prefer strawberry or mint [flavor]?" the hygienist asks. She listens to your response and honors your request.
Compare to: "Can I wipe my boogers on you?"
"No! Get a tissue."
You later receive a nuzzling hug and realize when your child pulls back with a devilish grin, your clothes are glistening with...yup.
"Would you like a magazine?" You leisurely thumb through a fashion magazine or celebrity newspaper.
You are not reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the 20th time that day, or about preschool reviews, or holding a squirming toddler (trying to keep her from typing) while hurriedly scanning an email about a playgroup you might be able to squeeze in between naps and dinner.
"Would you like a glass of water?" You sip it.
You are holding something other than a sippy cup, and you really have the time to sip your water...slowly. You will not have to wash this cup later. Ahhh.
I think Serina was spot-on, and I can't wait for my next trip to the dentist!
2/20/10
Easter
Parker is pretty excited about Easter. He is pretty much excited about any holiday during which he is guaranteed to receive candy. When you think about it, that accounts for a lot of holidays in our country...Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter. The 4th of July means apple pie. No wonder we're obese, but I digress..
The grocery store near our house has begun putting out Easter baskets and items. Parker really wanted some plastic eggs. They were cheap, and we'll use them later, so we got some for him. Imagine his surprise and dismay when he opened them and they were empty. Poor guy.
He didn't stay down for long. He launched into a little monologue. "Pretty soon it is going to be Easter. And the Easter bunny is going to come and say, 'Hmmm...I should leave some candy for this little boy.' And I will love that candy. And I will say (slurp)!"
Aaron told him that the Easter bunny will bring a chocolate bunny for him, too. Parker was incredulous. "They have chocolate Easter bunnies?! Are you kidding me?"
Cavities, here we come!
The grocery store near our house has begun putting out Easter baskets and items. Parker really wanted some plastic eggs. They were cheap, and we'll use them later, so we got some for him. Imagine his surprise and dismay when he opened them and they were empty. Poor guy.
He didn't stay down for long. He launched into a little monologue. "Pretty soon it is going to be Easter. And the Easter bunny is going to come and say, 'Hmmm...I should leave some candy for this little boy.' And I will love that candy. And I will say (slurp)!"
Aaron told him that the Easter bunny will bring a chocolate bunny for him, too. Parker was incredulous. "They have chocolate Easter bunnies?! Are you kidding me?"
Cavities, here we come!
2/17/10
Yummy Jesus!
We have an amazing babysitter. Her name is Alex, and she is 13, and Parker and Maddie adore her. She is smart, funny, hard-working, and beautiful. Seriously, what more could we ask for? Oh yeah, and did I mention she lives right next door. Literally. She walks home from our house after a date night. It is the best!
So anyway, she is off of school this week and offered to come and hang out with us. Didn't I tell you she was great? Today we were on our way to the Pacific Science Center (children's museum) and bopping along to one of Parker's favorite Christian children's Cd's.
Parker and I were singing along: "A little talk with Jesus makes it right! Alright!"
Suddenly Alex's jaw dropped. She turned to me with a horrified, incredulous expression. "Jessie!"
I asked her what was wrong.
"Why would you want to eat Jesus?" she asked, stunned.
I must have had a blank look on my face.
She continued, "'A little chocolate Jesus makes it right!'"
The funny thing is, she actually thought that's what we were singing.
I started to think...chocolate Jesus...not a bad idea. Could be the next big thing at Easter. Look out, hollow bunnies! How could they really compete with the guy who started the whole Easter thing, right? Sadly, as it turns out, people are already making a chocolate Jesus. In fact, they are making chocolate crucifix lollipops. Creepy.
So anyway, she is off of school this week and offered to come and hang out with us. Didn't I tell you she was great? Today we were on our way to the Pacific Science Center (children's museum) and bopping along to one of Parker's favorite Christian children's Cd's.
Parker and I were singing along: "A little talk with Jesus makes it right! Alright!"
Suddenly Alex's jaw dropped. She turned to me with a horrified, incredulous expression. "Jessie!"
I asked her what was wrong.
"Why would you want to eat Jesus?" she asked, stunned.
I must have had a blank look on my face.
She continued, "'A little chocolate Jesus makes it right!'"
The funny thing is, she actually thought that's what we were singing.
I started to think...chocolate Jesus...not a bad idea. Could be the next big thing at Easter. Look out, hollow bunnies! How could they really compete with the guy who started the whole Easter thing, right? Sadly, as it turns out, people are already making a chocolate Jesus. In fact, they are making chocolate crucifix lollipops. Creepy.
2/15/10
Loving
Today Parker and Maddie were fighting over some books. Finally they each settled into different books and sat side by side. Then Parker took a small ball and hit Maddie in the head with it. They went on reading.
I was a little surprised. He knew I was sitting right there and saw his every move. I told him to apologize to her.
"But that's how I love her!"
Lucky, Maddie.
I was a little surprised. He knew I was sitting right there and saw his every move. I told him to apologize to her.
"But that's how I love her!"
Lucky, Maddie.
2/14/10
Savior of the Worms
It has been a pretty wet day. When the rain stopped, I went outside with the kids. We saw lots of worms squirming on the road. I explained to Parker that they live in the dirt and when it rains, they have to come up because their homes are filled with water. Together we bent down and watched them crawl around.
Then I saw some struggling in the standing water in the gutter. I told Parker they couldn't breathe in the water and encouraged him to pick them up and put them on the pavement.
Parker leapt into action. "Don't worry, little guy...I will save you!" he said tenderly in the high-pitched voice he usually reserves for talking to babies. Considering the way he squeezed the poor creature when he picked it up and how far he flung it into the air, it may have been better off in the water, but he was trying.
He called out to his friends, "Come on guys! We have to save the worms!" It was one of the cutest scenes I've ever witnessed, as these little kiddos walked along the gutter, carefully searching for worms to rescue. Made me proud.
Then I saw some struggling in the standing water in the gutter. I told Parker they couldn't breathe in the water and encouraged him to pick them up and put them on the pavement.
Parker leapt into action. "Don't worry, little guy...I will save you!" he said tenderly in the high-pitched voice he usually reserves for talking to babies. Considering the way he squeezed the poor creature when he picked it up and how far he flung it into the air, it may have been better off in the water, but he was trying.
He called out to his friends, "Come on guys! We have to save the worms!" It was one of the cutest scenes I've ever witnessed, as these little kiddos walked along the gutter, carefully searching for worms to rescue. Made me proud.
2/12/10
Stinky Bear
Maddie's Stinky Bear is like Linus' blanket. We don't leave home without him. Initially he got his name because they were so inseparable, I found it difficult to wash him. She sucked on him, refused to eat without holding him (inevitably smearing food on him), slept on top of him him...
During her dedication at church, I passed her to the pastor, Stinky Bear and all. I was mortified as she waved the bear in the pastor's face and silently prayed he was breathing through his mouth.
Recently, Maddie has become a real fan of "swirlies." You know, when you dip someone head first in the toilet and flush. Come to think of it, she's more just a fan of dipping things in the toilet, and poor Stinky Bear is no exception. As if that weren't disgusting enough, Parker often forgets to flush.
Thanks to that combination of events, I now have no reservations about frequently washing Stinky Bear. I simply rip him from her iron grip, toss him in the washer, and endure the hour and a half long scream-fest that ensues.
And you know, Stinky Bear is actually a lot less stinky these days.
During her dedication at church, I passed her to the pastor, Stinky Bear and all. I was mortified as she waved the bear in the pastor's face and silently prayed he was breathing through his mouth.
Recently, Maddie has become a real fan of "swirlies." You know, when you dip someone head first in the toilet and flush. Come to think of it, she's more just a fan of dipping things in the toilet, and poor Stinky Bear is no exception. As if that weren't disgusting enough, Parker often forgets to flush.
Thanks to that combination of events, I now have no reservations about frequently washing Stinky Bear. I simply rip him from her iron grip, toss him in the washer, and endure the hour and a half long scream-fest that ensues.
And you know, Stinky Bear is actually a lot less stinky these days.
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