On a positive note...

Today was a great day on so many levels!  First, I left a group on a social media site that was creating a ton of negativity in my life.  I had joined the group to obtain information about the expat community in my new home, and to be fair, I did learn some very useful things.  However, on the whole, it was not good for me.  I allowed the "squeaky wheels" to color my view of all Singapore expats.

No more!  I will happily find my new friends one face-to-face encounter at a time.  I spent the entire day today with some awesome expats.  We went on an outing to the Gardens by the Bay children's park.  The park was truly incredible.  I've been to spray grounds before but none exactly like this.  It was huge!  Music was playing, and the kids were having so much fun, I decided to join in - fully clothed!

Then we went up inside these enormous tree-like structures crawling with beautiful vines and flowers and walked across a suspension skybridge for a gorgeous view of the city.

We finished with lunch and ice cream for the kids.  I didn't even get lost on the way home.  So thankful for such a positive day!

P.S. For those of you who might have been wondering, I never felt slighted or judged by anyone here.  My previous entries reflected my frustrations about expat comments regarding the treatment of their helpers (which I viewed as incredibly prejudiced and ugly).  In my pride, I, too, unfairly judged an entire group of people.

To my friends back home

To my dear, dear friends and family,

I.miss.you.  I know, I know; it takes time to develop true, close, lasting friendships.  Blah, blah, blah.  In our Amazon-Prime-2-day-free-shipping world, I was kind of hoping I could just place an order, and *poof* intsta-friend would be on my doorstep.

Don't get me wrong, I have met some really nice people here, and we are beginning to become friends.  It just takes time.  And at times like this, I want you all back.  I want to curl up on your couch and have a cup of tea.  I want to sit around a sticky table littered with Crayola masterpieces and chat.  I want to have you you over for a big cookout and offer this toast:

To those of you who refuse to gossip and tear others down, thank you for teaching me what it means to be a woman of character.  To those cheerleaders who listen and smile and don't participate in one-upsmanship, thank you for showing me how to be happy for others.  To those could care less about the size of my home, the brand of clothes my kids wear, and the number of cars in my driveway, thank you for teaching me that a person's worth is never tied to her bank account.  To those who scrimp and save and work the long hours to put a decent meal on the table for your family, thank you for demonstrating there is no shame in getting your hands dirty.  To those of you who take the time to make eye contact with those who serve you and call them by name, thank you for reminding me that everyone matters.  To those who humbly serve others week in and week out, thank you for reminding me there is a hurting world just outside the doors of our cozy homes.  To those who introduced me to Jesus, thank you for taking the risk and saving my life.

Friends, I miss your honesty, compassion, love, humility, grace, and generosity.  I am so thankful God allowed you to touch my life.  I hope one day I can introduce you to the new friends He provides in Singapore!

So much!

So much to blog, so little time.  I should be napping right now...

Both Jack and Caleb are asleep, and I am bone tired.  However I know that if I lie in bed, my mind will be swirling with half-written blog posts.  No, I haven't give up on my "Around the world in 80 days."  I simply have no time to write it.  We discover new things every day, and I usually snap a few photos, but that's the most I am able to do at the moment.

Aaron has been traveling this week, and even when he's home, he's not.  He gets pulled into late meetings or has late night phone calls with folks in the States (who are just starting their days).  Maddie started rehearsals for the Nutcracker.  I joined MOPS and a women's bible study.  We have had play dates with new friends.  The endless coin laundry in the basement continues....

But it's ok.  I'm ok.  At least, I'm getting there.  When the kids smash their fingers and toes in the huge, heavy wooden doors here (an every day occurrence - I promise I'm not exaggerating), I don't automatically tear up and wail, "I hate this place!"  When I send the wrong item to school (Is today the swimming pack, the library pack, the word folder, or the reading pouch?), I don't cry.  I have released my death grip on the steering wheel.  I can navigate that awful, ginormous underground mall.

Those changes have been great.  But the real saving grace always comes from the same source.  It's always God.  How wonderful it felt to be in His house, singing praises with tears on my cheeks.  To be reminded of my blessings.  To receive the love and support poured out by fellow believers.

It's so refreshing!  Though I am physically exhausted, my spirit has been renewed.  And I know things will only get better from here.  Pretty soon our helper will join us.  Then we will be moving into our own home.  Then we will be getting our things.  Then Grammy comes for a long visit (Yay!).    I feel like I'm finally getting my feet on the ground.  I'm looking forward to what God has planned next.

Will keep you posted when I can!  P.S. We miss you all!

Help!

Many moons ago my friend, Mandie, and I memorized the song "Help" and performed it for her mom (a huge Beatles fan) along with an undoubtedly well-choreographed dance routine.  These day, I hear those lyrics in my head nearly all the time...

"Help!  I need somebody.  Help!  Not just anybody.  Help!  You know I need someone.  He-eh-eh-eh-elp!"

That is how I feel all.the.time.  I never imagined a move overseas would throw me for such a loop.  Especially since we had averaged a move every 2 years for the last 14 years in the States.  I was a pro at moving, right?  WRONG!

I am good at moving within the U.S., no doubt about it.  Give me a week or so and we would have our church, library cards, and frequent shopper cards at the local grocer.  We would have cruised around in the minivan and found a few parks, registered for voting and school, and found a pediatrician, doctor and dentist.  You name it, I could get it done.  

And then we moved here.  To Singapore.  And it feels like another planet.  Prior to the move, every Singapore expat I met raved about how wonderful and beautiful and easy it was to live there.  I think they must be suffering from some sort of tropical amnesia.  Maybe it's just me, but I don't happen to find it easy at all. 

Everything is a process.  Banking, communication, government agencies, internet access, mail, shopping, transportation, doctors, school, parking.  Each aspect of life is suddenly filled with unexpected difficulties and delays.  Even play dates can bring me to tears, as I am inevitably 45 minutes late because I get lost every stinking time.  Every day is a learning experience, and this momma is downright exhausted.  

I never intended to raise four children in a big city.  Before kids, it was a lot easier to be adventurous.  With kids, give me the ease of the [boring] burbs any ol' day.  Give me huge, free parking lots and quiet streets with big, empty sidewalks.  Give me ramps and elevators for my strollers, reasonably priced food and drink, and well-marked public restrooms in every major store.  Give me some one-stop shopping!    

Now I know why people in big cities don't have large families.  Now I know why every single time we go out on the street we are a spectacle to behold, with people constantly asking, "Four?!"  

Yes!  Four!  Four children, people!  They are all mine.  Yes, I know it looks crazy.  It is crazy.

So is coin laundry in teeny tiny washers and dryers in the basement of our building.  Do you know how many loads of laundry this family creates every week?

Going to the grocery?  Always an adventure.  Not only is the food ridiculously overpriced (I'm talking $8 for a box of cereal!), but getting the groceries home is a challenge.  I even bought a rolling cart because the bags were so heavy.

Tonight I rushed through the kids' bedtime songs with tears in my eyes.  Because I desperately wanted to stay longer and cuddle with my babes, but I knew I couldn't.  Because I still had three loads of laundry to finish and businesses to call (that were just about to open in the U.S.), and email to finally check. "I'm sorry," I choked, "Mommy doesn't have any extra to give tonight." 

So here I am.  Exhausted and humbled.  Realizing I really, truly can't do it all.  If I were in the States, it would be a different story.  Here, I need help.  

We have decided to hire a domestic helper.  Wow!  Never thought in a million years I would write those words.  This from the girl who adopted her mother's motto: "If your house it too big for you to clean yourself, your house is too big!"

Well, mom, I'm crying, "Uncle!"  I can't do it here.  I just can't.  I have to let go of my pride and accept some help for now.  

Our decision is not just about the chores or errands.  Aaron's real travel schedule has yet to begin.  With his new job he will be traveling about 25% of the time.  He's never been gone that much.  I can't even imagine what evenings would be like alone here without another person in the house.  I don't want to.  What if a child had to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night?

  Who would stay with the kids?  

We interviewed a few candidates and settled on a sweet woman with a lovely disposition.  The kids seem to like her.  It will be interesting to see how we all adjust to another person living in our home.  I won't share her details on here to protect her privacy, just as I hope she won't share information about our family online.  

I felt I had to write about it a little bit anyway.  Hiring a helper, someone who will move into our home and be a part of our daily lives, seemed to be a pretty significant detail I couldn't leave out of our blog.  It's also good for my humility!  Will keep you posted!

Day 6 - East Coast Park

Aaron's company held a carnival to support the World Hunger Relief Program at a place called Big Splash at the East Coast Park today.  It was beautiful!  

We never saw the water park.  We knew Caleb wouldn't last long in the heat.  (Sure enough he was beet red in no time despite keeping him in the shade, hydrated, with a cooling towel around his shoulders.).  We stuck to the carnival - kite painting, dunking booth, balloon swords/guns/flowers, bouncy house, yummy food (Caleb loved the spring rolls!).  

We flew the kites in the field between the carnival and the sea.  Then the the older kids played in the Singapore Strait while super dad strolled Caleb (and the balloons and the kites and the leftover food and drinks) in the shade of the huge trees.  It was so neat to look out over the water and see huge cargo ships.  A perfect day...until it was time to leave, at which point everything and everyone fell apart.  Shocking, I know.

Despite the ugly exit, I'm certain we'll return.  Great park!

Days 4 and 5 - play dates!

I'm already falling down on the job of  photographing our adventures.  In my defense, Parker and Maddie have been off school the last two days, and it is rather hard, not to mention unsafe, to snap shots when you are driving or trying to help a bunch of kids cross a busy road.

That said, I did snap the shot below waiting at the world's longest traffic light.  Notice the steering wheel on the wrong side of the car.  Still getting used to that!  We were heading home from dropping Parker off at his first official Singapore play date.  It was with his "new best friend," Shin Hwe.  (Don't fret, Texas buddies!  Parker finds new best friends wherever we move, but he doesn't forget his old ones.  Just ask his best buds in Louisville!).  

I didn't notice much on the way, as my ears were straining to hear the GPS and my knuckles were turning white from my death grip on the steering wheel.  However, on the way home, I relaxed a bit and got my bearings.  I only got stuck in the roundabout for one full circle before I managed to escape.  Not too bad!

On day 5 we joined our new friends, Eelin and Deepti (and their daughters) on an excusion to visit a mall that sold books and art supplies.   Maddie was in hog heaven.  We bought some cheap used books and modeling clay.   It was fun but very hot.  The building had an open atrium design, and by lunchtime we were all ready for some airconditioning.  We walked to another mall with a huge indoor food court and had a delicious lunch.  One short train ride and we were home.  All in all, a very successful outing!

Day 3 - Lunch with Daddy

Caleb was in a fresh diaper and in my arms, ready to be lowered into the stroller when my phone rang.  We were just about to explore a specialty grocery store when Aaron invited us to join him for lunch.  It was a no-brainer.  He's been working late, and the kids and I missed him.  We've always met him at the office and gone to lunch when we could...in Seattle, Louisville, Dallas.  Why not Singapore?  (Now we know why not Singapore, but this morning at 11, we did not.)

"Just take a cab," Aaron suggested.  Trying desperately to retain some shred of frugality in this ridiculously expensive city, I shrugged off his suggestion.  "We can just take the MRT (subway); the boys are already set to go.  See you in a half hour."

I strapped Caleb in the baby carrier, a backpack on my back, and Jack in the umbrella stroller.  Away we went.  Busy city streets.  Down two sets of escalators ("Hop out, Jack!", fold the stroller, "Hold my hand!", down we go!) Through the tunnel.  Into that monstrous underground mall.  Through the subway gates.  Down another escalator (Repeat scenario above.). Onto the first train.  I won't bore you with all the details.  One more train and a million escalators and stairways later...we emerge into daylight.  

A few short blocks to Daddy's work.  Another few to the bridge allowing us to cross over the major road.  Up 3 flights, over, down. 

Food!  We ate in a huge food court inside the KK Women and Children's Hospital near* Aaron's work.  (I am learning *near is a relative term.). It was yummy!  We tried different noodles and sauces with chicken.  Caleb's favorite is still rice.  He wore most of it.  Afterward, I let him play in the kids' area while daddy took Jack for a special cupcake treat.  

Lunch was over way too soon.  Aaron had a meeting, so he walked us back across the bridge, and we decided to skip the escalators and wait for a bus.  It took us home in a very roundabout way, but we were able to see some of the city.

Whew!  Next time we'll take a cab!