This post has been especially difficult to write. I always want to authentic when I write on our family blog, but for a few months now, I have not been in a place where I could share my heart. It was a very dark time. Your birthday happened to be just before this tidal wave knocked me down. And because I didn't write your birthday post promptly, it simply had to wait until I could begin to make sense of things again. The clouds are lifting, and I am starting to see the rainbows now.
You, child, are wrapped in rainbows. You always have been. From the start. You have been a unicorn. Different. As I've said before, it is impossible for me to choose a favorite child (not that I'd ever even want to); I simply want to use this time, this post, to highlight those many qualities in you that make you so unique and special and beloved.
This year was the best birthday you've ever had. You had your own group of friends in attendance. Real friends who really get you. There was Shawn, Ricky, Ian, and Maddie (not your sister). It was a weird year, as we had to keep a distance and wear masks, but it was a joyful party nonetheless. You all had pizza and cupcakes and swam in the lagoon. You were grinning from ear to ear. This has been a long time coming for you. Due to our many moves and the way in which your brilliant brain works differently from so many others, large groups of friends have been hard to come by. You've always found a best friend wherever we go, someone who intuitively understands the complex rules and systems of your imaginary worlds or who is at least happy to play alongside you even if not engaged in the same activity. But to have a whole group of go-to buddies! Wow! What an amazing gift from God.
Jack, some people think "outside the box." In your world, there are no boxes. Your solutions and mental calculations are just beyond what most (myself included) can see. In years past, school has been a struggle for you, so it was so exciting to hear that you will be enrolled in the Gifted and Talented program. It is gratifying to see that some of the tests you have taken are finally capturing your potential.
But sweetheart, it's not the mental exercises that impress me. What astounds me is your emotional intelligence. I'll never forget the day you looked up at me with a perplexed expression, your big, beautiful eyes brimming with tears: "Mom, it feels like your trying to make me feel bad." I don't remember the specifics of why I was berating you. But I remember where I was standing in the kitchen. I remember stopping in my tracks. "You're right," I whispered. I didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of the end of the first half of my life. This was the beginning of my unravelling. You saw through the patterns, spoke the unspeakable, and sliced right into my heart.
So the boy who battles invisible zombies with a plastic sword, the one who weaves fantastic tales about wizards and dragons, the child who sheds his clothes like a snake until he's comfortably down to his underwear (all the time), the little person who belly laughs at digitally modified pictures of fat giraffes, the kid who receives special services in school...this one cut right to the heart of the matter. With such vulnerablity and tenderness that it was impossible for me to continue being the person I was. For that, I am truly thankful, Jack. I was the winner this year. I got the best present.
But back to you! It's your birthday post afterall! You are 9! Now only 7 months away from double digits! You are becoming incredibly self-aware. Some mornings are still difficult for you, especially on Mondays, when your routines have been thrown off by the weekend. But you are learning to recognize and manage your emotions, and you've developed some excellent coping skills. Those come in handy when dealing with your best friend/enemy/brother, Caleb. Whew! You two together are something else! As mentioned above, you've got some great friends, and we're looking forward to spending more time with them after this pandemic.
Speaking of Covid, you caught it. You, Maddie, and Daddy. We all had to quarantine for a few weeks. Everyone stayed isolated in their own rooms, in the hopes the rest of us wouldn't get sick. It was a challenging time, but you were a real champ. You actually prefer online learning, as you are able to complete your tasks quickly and aren't required to do any pesky busy work while waiting for classmates to catch up.
You love listening to and making music. You mix beats and wear headphones, bobbing through the house. You have a great singing voice, too. You love reading graphic novels and playing Minecraft. You love our dog, Abby, probably more than you love any other family member. You thank God for her every night. You love playing 4 square with your sibling and playing tickle games with dad during night time tuck-in. You still crawl into my lap and let me kiss your sweet head. You are simply precious, Jacky-Jack. I love you, sweet boy. I hope the second half of your 9th year will be even more blessed than the first.
Love,
Momma
No comments:
Post a Comment