This morning Parker threw Aaron under the bus...big time.
As he was drinking his milk, he said, "You know, mom, Daddy breaks all the rules."
I was wiping down the counter. "Oh really?"
Parker: Yeah. Last night, he gave us [pausing for effect] chocolate chips...in the living room...while we watched a show!
Me: Hmmm...
Parker: Maybe you should have a talk with him...
I chuckled. I have to give Aaron credit. He did, after all, take all 3 kids so that I could go to Bible study by myself last night. It was wonderful.
I explained to Parker the order of authority in our house. I explained that mom and dad were on the same team, and dad was kind of like the team coach. I smiled, "One day you will be the daddy and have to make lots of decisions, too."
Parker let out an exasperated sigh. "I know mom. I know what it's like to be a grown-up."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. You have to be patient with kiddos, be kind, do good responsibility, don't mess everything up, don't knock down buildings..."
Thank goodness he understands the importance of resisting the urge to destroy buildings. We must be doing something right.
9/23/11
9/8/11
Just Jack
Just wanted to write about a few milestones for Jack and some family dynamics...just so I remember.
He went for his 1 month check-up and weighed in at 10lbs 1oz. He is sleeping 5-6 hours at a stretch at night and on a 2.5 - 3 hour feeding schedule during the day. He still only cries when he is hungry or tired (very distinct cries; hungry sounds like a snorting little piggy, tired sounds like "la, la, la"). In short, he's a perfect angel.
On Sunday, right after a feeding, he looked up at me and gave me a huge open-mouthed grin. Since then he has smiled every day. Today (Thursday 9/8/11), he rolled over from his tummy to his back. It surprised all of us. Maddie and Parker had been sitting next to him on the playmat on the livingroom floor. Once they saw it, they wanted to see it again. We placed him back on his tummy, and Maddie tried to assist him by grabbing his stomach and rolling him. (Poor little guy's head would have slammed back and hit the floor had I not caught it.)
As I lay on the table for my postpartum exam, feet in the stirrups, Jack in a carseat in the corner, Parker and Maddie sharing a chair next to my head, my questions were answered. Sometimes there is not enough of me to go around. Of course I could (and do) love Jack as much as Parker and Maddie. He is growing and happy and will have just enough attention. I may get a moment to myself again...in about 18 years. And finally, I will handle 3 on an outing by myself just fine...perhaps not with as much poise and grace as I would like, but we'll survive.
He went for his 1 month check-up and weighed in at 10lbs 1oz. He is sleeping 5-6 hours at a stretch at night and on a 2.5 - 3 hour feeding schedule during the day. He still only cries when he is hungry or tired (very distinct cries; hungry sounds like a snorting little piggy, tired sounds like "la, la, la"). In short, he's a perfect angel.
On Sunday, right after a feeding, he looked up at me and gave me a huge open-mouthed grin. Since then he has smiled every day. Today (Thursday 9/8/11), he rolled over from his tummy to his back. It surprised all of us. Maddie and Parker had been sitting next to him on the playmat on the livingroom floor. Once they saw it, they wanted to see it again. We placed him back on his tummy, and Maddie tried to assist him by grabbing his stomach and rolling him. (Poor little guy's head would have slammed back and hit the floor had I not caught it.)
Big brother and big sister love him so much. They still argue over who gets to take the dirty diapers to the trash. Maddie "speaks" to him often in a language only they can understand ("goo-goo, ahhh"). Parker rinses his dropped pacifiers and places them in his mouth. They rock him in his carseat while I get ready to go places. They gently bounce his little chair and talk to him whenever they get the chance. They always want to hold him and have their pictures taken with him.
There were many times I was really worried about having three children. Would there be enough of me to go around? Could I possibly love another child as much as I loved Parker and Maddie? Would he get enough attention? Would I ever have a moment to myself again? How on earth would I handle three on an outing by myself?
8/31/11
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times
So many intense and contrary emotions and situations are flooding my life right now; I feel as though I can't keep my head above water one moment and like I'm floating on cloud nine the next. I'm not sure how much of it is internal [hormonal] and how much is just plain situational. Here are some examples...
Last weekend the entire family stayed home for the majority of the weekend. This may not sound odd to some families, but my husband is such the antithesis of a homebody that 2 days after Jack came home from the hospital the whole fam-damily took a trip to Bass Pro Shop because Daddy was so stir crazy. So, when Aaron voluntarily stays home on the weekend, it's a big deal. We cleaned, played, and cleaned some more.
On Sunday evening, after all three children were tucked in bed, Aaron grinned and asked if I wanted some wine. [Is the pope Catholic?] Soon he was off to the store to buy our victory drink. When he left, I surveyed the house...a wreck. How was this possible? Oh well. I started by unloading the diaper bag (which had become stuffed beyond maximum capacity over the course of the weekend).
What the...? Why was it soaking wet? I knew we'd put some wet diapers in there, but they weren't that wet. Then it dawned on me. Breast milk (which had been pumped and left in the pump...long story) had spilled all over the inside of the bag. The bag. My brand-new, super-cute, unexpected-gift-from-Grammy, embroidered-with-Jack's-name, diaper bag! I did what any sane person would do. I lost it. I sobbed. Why, oh, why couldn't I have anything that didn't get ruined? Why couldn't I have nice things that stayed nice?
With puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, I looked around the room. Dishes piled high in the sink, a full dishwasher, shoes and clothes on the floor, crumbs on the table, toys under the table. I sat in a chair and sobbed. Just then Aaron came home, wine in hand, a smile that quickly faded. "What's wrong?" he asked innocently. How dare he? Couldn't he see that we lived in filth and chaos??
"My diaper bag!" I wailed. Between sobs, I explained about the breast milk. "Well, can't you clean it?" he asked simply. I glared. "Of course I cleaned it! It's just that nothing stays nice in this house! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of toys and laundry and dishes!" I could see the vacant stare in his eyes. He was retreating to his happy place. "Forget it!" I yelled.
Then I went about the house cleaning like a maniac. While I was picking up the toys and placing them in a laundry basket, wouldn't you know it, demon doll (see previous post -http://rauschfamilycircus.blogspot.com/2011/08/demon-doll.html ) fell on the floor and began to cheer. I went to the door and launched her off the back porch onto the driveway (secretly hoping one of us might run her over in the morning). Aaron shook his head and retreated to the office [a wise move]. The crying and cleaning continued for some time.
A similar scenario was repeated the next evening. Finally, I stopped, prayed, apologized to my poor spouse, and rested.
Fast forward one day...We went to Grandma's house to visit with Gigi (Grandpa Bob's mother) who was in town from St. Louis. I put Jack down for a nap, then was able to rest myself while the two other kids played with Grandma and Gigi. When I awoke, I found Parker playing cops and robbers with Gigi, each taking turns shooting each other with toy guns and giggling. Grandma was preparing a picnic lunch while Maddie worked a puzzle. My mom never ceases to amaze and inspire me. Rather than struggling down the steps (to the covered patio) with Gigi's walker and a bulky picnic basket, she tied the basket to a rope and lowered it over the edge of her two story deck where Parker and Maddie "caught" it. They were ecstatic. Parker insisted they were pirates catching treasure. It was a delightful day.
The next day was Parker's first day of preschool - another wonderful day! This day was filled with milestones and blessings. I had been so nervous that things wouldn't go well. There were so many variables...would we wake up on time [we didn't], could I get everyone dressed and fed and out the door on time [I did], would Parker get along with his classmates with whom he didn't really make a connection at orientation [he did], would he listen to and obey his teacher [undetermined]. When he bounded into the van at noon prattling on and on about his new friend, Noah, his painting, and his excitement about returning on Friday when he would be allowed to paint his hand, I knew the day had been a success. I offered up a silent prayer of thanks.
A few short hours later, Parker and Maddie were dropped off at Grammy's house so I could take Jack to his one month appointment. When we arrived at Grammy's, it was like Christmas in August. She had purchased shoes for everyone in the family, save Jack (who got a hat and bib instead). I must say, Gram has amazing taste. These are the shoes she got for Mommy. (Score!)
I was giddy at Jack's appointment. It was so exciting to be at the doctor's office with just Jack. I know it might sound silly, but after having lived far from extended family and having to take multiple children to every medical appointment (including my own), there is something wonderfully relaxing about being able to focus on one child at a time. I was able to answer the doctor's questions and snuggle with my sweet baby boy during the entire appointment. I could think and speak clearly without interruption. Even more exciting than the new found focus, was Jack's progress and growth. He is now 10 pounds, 1 ounce and has grown 1 inch in length. He is right on track. I don't take his perfect health for granted. I recognize it is a blessing from God and am extremely grateful.
So there you have it...chaos and drama juxtaposed with fabulous family and memorable milestones. That's life right now, and for right now, I love it.
Last weekend the entire family stayed home for the majority of the weekend. This may not sound odd to some families, but my husband is such the antithesis of a homebody that 2 days after Jack came home from the hospital the whole fam-damily took a trip to Bass Pro Shop because Daddy was so stir crazy. So, when Aaron voluntarily stays home on the weekend, it's a big deal. We cleaned, played, and cleaned some more.
On Sunday evening, after all three children were tucked in bed, Aaron grinned and asked if I wanted some wine. [Is the pope Catholic?] Soon he was off to the store to buy our victory drink. When he left, I surveyed the house...a wreck. How was this possible? Oh well. I started by unloading the diaper bag (which had become stuffed beyond maximum capacity over the course of the weekend).
What the...? Why was it soaking wet? I knew we'd put some wet diapers in there, but they weren't that wet. Then it dawned on me. Breast milk (which had been pumped and left in the pump...long story) had spilled all over the inside of the bag. The bag. My brand-new, super-cute, unexpected-gift-from-Grammy, embroidered-with-Jack's-name, diaper bag! I did what any sane person would do. I lost it. I sobbed. Why, oh, why couldn't I have anything that didn't get ruined? Why couldn't I have nice things that stayed nice?
With puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, I looked around the room. Dishes piled high in the sink, a full dishwasher, shoes and clothes on the floor, crumbs on the table, toys under the table. I sat in a chair and sobbed. Just then Aaron came home, wine in hand, a smile that quickly faded. "What's wrong?" he asked innocently. How dare he? Couldn't he see that we lived in filth and chaos??
"My diaper bag!" I wailed. Between sobs, I explained about the breast milk. "Well, can't you clean it?" he asked simply. I glared. "Of course I cleaned it! It's just that nothing stays nice in this house! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of toys and laundry and dishes!" I could see the vacant stare in his eyes. He was retreating to his happy place. "Forget it!" I yelled.
Then I went about the house cleaning like a maniac. While I was picking up the toys and placing them in a laundry basket, wouldn't you know it, demon doll (see previous post -http://rauschfamilycircus.blogspot.com/2011/08/demon-doll.html ) fell on the floor and began to cheer. I went to the door and launched her off the back porch onto the driveway (secretly hoping one of us might run her over in the morning). Aaron shook his head and retreated to the office [a wise move]. The crying and cleaning continued for some time.
A similar scenario was repeated the next evening. Finally, I stopped, prayed, apologized to my poor spouse, and rested.
Fast forward one day...We went to Grandma's house to visit with Gigi (Grandpa Bob's mother) who was in town from St. Louis. I put Jack down for a nap, then was able to rest myself while the two other kids played with Grandma and Gigi. When I awoke, I found Parker playing cops and robbers with Gigi, each taking turns shooting each other with toy guns and giggling. Grandma was preparing a picnic lunch while Maddie worked a puzzle. My mom never ceases to amaze and inspire me. Rather than struggling down the steps (to the covered patio) with Gigi's walker and a bulky picnic basket, she tied the basket to a rope and lowered it over the edge of her two story deck where Parker and Maddie "caught" it. They were ecstatic. Parker insisted they were pirates catching treasure. It was a delightful day.
The next day was Parker's first day of preschool - another wonderful day! This day was filled with milestones and blessings. I had been so nervous that things wouldn't go well. There were so many variables...would we wake up on time [we didn't], could I get everyone dressed and fed and out the door on time [I did], would Parker get along with his classmates with whom he didn't really make a connection at orientation [he did], would he listen to and obey his teacher [undetermined]. When he bounded into the van at noon prattling on and on about his new friend, Noah, his painting, and his excitement about returning on Friday when he would be allowed to paint his hand, I knew the day had been a success. I offered up a silent prayer of thanks.
A few short hours later, Parker and Maddie were dropped off at Grammy's house so I could take Jack to his one month appointment. When we arrived at Grammy's, it was like Christmas in August. She had purchased shoes for everyone in the family, save Jack (who got a hat and bib instead). I must say, Gram has amazing taste. These are the shoes she got for Mommy. (Score!)
I was giddy at Jack's appointment. It was so exciting to be at the doctor's office with just Jack. I know it might sound silly, but after having lived far from extended family and having to take multiple children to every medical appointment (including my own), there is something wonderfully relaxing about being able to focus on one child at a time. I was able to answer the doctor's questions and snuggle with my sweet baby boy during the entire appointment. I could think and speak clearly without interruption. Even more exciting than the new found focus, was Jack's progress and growth. He is now 10 pounds, 1 ounce and has grown 1 inch in length. He is right on track. I don't take his perfect health for granted. I recognize it is a blessing from God and am extremely grateful.
So there you have it...chaos and drama juxtaposed with fabulous family and memorable milestones. That's life right now, and for right now, I love it.
8/21/11
Demon Doll
Well, okay, it's not exactly demonic, but it is the most annoying toy I have ever encountered (which is saying a lot considering I have three children who have so many toys it looks like Toys"R"Us threw up in our basement).
The toy about which I am writing is a cheerleading baby doll with a redneck accent. Its one bum eyelid combined with Maddie's salon-quality hairstyling have made it look quite creepy. Think Chuckie meets Toddlers and Tiaras, and you get the general idea. Even more disturbing than its appearance are its cheers. Hearing a small child's twangy voice shout semi-provocative cheers is just, well, disturbing.
Click on the link below to see a video of this little monster in action.
EW! What kind of creep wants to see a baby cheerleader "wiggling" anything?
In the video you may have noticed that the doll has small blue dots on her shoes and belly which you can press to activate different cheers. Recently the cousins (who so graciously gave us this offensive little gem) were at the house and showed Maddie that by pressing the palms of the doll's hands, you can hear two additional cheers. Oh goody.
Both of my kids love this thing. I don't get it. Perhaps it is because it is a hand-me-down from their beloved cousins. Perhaps it is just because my children tend to gravitate toward loud, obnoxious toys. I don't know. I suppose what they say about misery loving company is true, because I must admit, I am hoping my sister-in-law will one day have a baby girl...Then she, too, will experience the joy this doll brings to a home.
The toy about which I am writing is a cheerleading baby doll with a redneck accent. Its one bum eyelid combined with Maddie's salon-quality hairstyling have made it look quite creepy. Think Chuckie meets Toddlers and Tiaras, and you get the general idea. Even more disturbing than its appearance are its cheers. Hearing a small child's twangy voice shout semi-provocative cheers is just, well, disturbing.
Click on the link below to see a video of this little monster in action.
EW! What kind of creep wants to see a baby cheerleader "wiggling" anything?
In the video you may have noticed that the doll has small blue dots on her shoes and belly which you can press to activate different cheers. Recently the cousins (who so graciously gave us this offensive little gem) were at the house and showed Maddie that by pressing the palms of the doll's hands, you can hear two additional cheers. Oh goody.
Both of my kids love this thing. I don't get it. Perhaps it is because it is a hand-me-down from their beloved cousins. Perhaps it is just because my children tend to gravitate toward loud, obnoxious toys. I don't know. I suppose what they say about misery loving company is true, because I must admit, I am hoping my sister-in-law will one day have a baby girl...Then she, too, will experience the joy this doll brings to a home.
8/13/11
Postiv Tension for a Mess-Maker
Parker and Maddie love Jack. They do not necessarily love all the time he spends eating [read: the time mommy is confined to a chair feeding him]. They want attention and will stop at nothing to get it. During one of Jack's naps, I took them outside and played Godzilla with Parker for a long time. After awhile Maddie requested we go inside, so I swept her into my arms for a big squeeze hug and carried her toward the house. As I was holding her, my entire back was doused with water. I turned to see Parker grinning, a water gun [more like a water bazooka] dangling from his hands. Grrrr.
We had a long talk about positive versus negative attention. Parker seemed to grasp the concept and insisted he really wanted "poztiv tension." I agreed to spend 10 minutes of "special time" with him when daddy got home (and could watch the other two). I know, I know...10 minutes sounds like chump change, but not to Parker. He was ecstatic. He couldn't wait.
As soon as dinner was finished, Aaron took Maddie and Jack, and Parker and I headed to the basement playroom for some special time. We simply built structures out of Lincoln Logs. To the casual observer, it might seem like no big deal. However, Parker had my absolute undivided attention, a capitve audience if you will. He loved it. When our 10 minutes was up, I announced "special time" was over and thanked him for playing with me. We could keep playing, but now others were free to speak to me and demand my attention.
Parker smiled up at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to marry you." Then he paused. "Is that okay?" I chuckled. "That's sweet," I said, "but I would guess that by then, you'll want to marry someone else."
Parker looked a little discouraged and surveyed the mass of Lincoln Logs. "I probably won't make a very good husband...I might still be a big mess-maker."
I laughed out loud. "Oh honey, don't worry! Your daddy's a great husband, and he's still a huge mess-maker!"
"Really?" Parker was practically beaming.
"Oh yeah."
We had a long talk about positive versus negative attention. Parker seemed to grasp the concept and insisted he really wanted "poztiv tension." I agreed to spend 10 minutes of "special time" with him when daddy got home (and could watch the other two). I know, I know...10 minutes sounds like chump change, but not to Parker. He was ecstatic. He couldn't wait.
As soon as dinner was finished, Aaron took Maddie and Jack, and Parker and I headed to the basement playroom for some special time. We simply built structures out of Lincoln Logs. To the casual observer, it might seem like no big deal. However, Parker had my absolute undivided attention, a capitve audience if you will. He loved it. When our 10 minutes was up, I announced "special time" was over and thanked him for playing with me. We could keep playing, but now others were free to speak to me and demand my attention.
Parker smiled up at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to marry you." Then he paused. "Is that okay?" I chuckled. "That's sweet," I said, "but I would guess that by then, you'll want to marry someone else."
Parker looked a little discouraged and surveyed the mass of Lincoln Logs. "I probably won't make a very good husband...I might still be a big mess-maker."
I laughed out loud. "Oh honey, don't worry! Your daddy's a great husband, and he's still a huge mess-maker!"
"Really?" Parker was practically beaming.
"Oh yeah."
8/5/11
Welcome, Jack
Welcome to the world, little one. These are such precious times...It's hard to put into words all of the things I am feeling and all the things I want to burn into my memory.
The way you cry when you are tired; it sounds like you are singing, "la, la, la." The way you manage to wiggle out of a tight swaddle and wake up cold and crying. The way you suck in just the right side of your bottom lip when you sleep. The tiny crease in your forehead that never seems to go away, as though you are constantly perplexed. The fuzzy little hair on the top of your ears. (Don't worry; it will go away - at least, Maddie's did.) The way you squeak all the time, often so loudly you startle yourself and flail your tiny arms. The way your eyes flutter open and stare at my face when I sing to you. The feel of your soft, squishy cheek next to mine. I could go on and on (and likely will in a later post).
We knew you were coming and were anxiously anticipating your arrival, so it sounds silly to say you were a surprise, but you were. Just 2 days before your arrival, the doctor's examination seemed to indicate you wouldn't be coming anytime soon. I was so disappointed I cried [because I just couldn't wait to meet you]. Then late one evening, I noticed my contractions becoming quite regular. I was so excited I didn't sleep all night. Early the next morning [Thursday], we took Parker and Maddie to Grandma and Grandpa's house, where we dropped them off and picked up Grandma. Grammy and Pappy met us at the hospital. A few short hours and 3 pushes later, and you were finally in my arms. Just like Mary Poppins, you were "practically perfect in every way." 7 pounds, 13 ounces. 21 inches long. Beautiful!
Daddy was able to take a week off of work to spend time getting to know you and to help me care for you and your brother and sister. Today is the last day of that week. I'm not sure how things will go next week. In fact, I'm more than a little nervous at the prospect of being home alone with the three of you. A wise friend instructed me to take it one day at a time. Best advice ever. I don't want to miss or squander a moment.
I love you, Squeak.
The way you cry when you are tired; it sounds like you are singing, "la, la, la." The way you manage to wiggle out of a tight swaddle and wake up cold and crying. The way you suck in just the right side of your bottom lip when you sleep. The tiny crease in your forehead that never seems to go away, as though you are constantly perplexed. The fuzzy little hair on the top of your ears. (Don't worry; it will go away - at least, Maddie's did.) The way you squeak all the time, often so loudly you startle yourself and flail your tiny arms. The way your eyes flutter open and stare at my face when I sing to you. The feel of your soft, squishy cheek next to mine. I could go on and on (and likely will in a later post).
We knew you were coming and were anxiously anticipating your arrival, so it sounds silly to say you were a surprise, but you were. Just 2 days before your arrival, the doctor's examination seemed to indicate you wouldn't be coming anytime soon. I was so disappointed I cried [because I just couldn't wait to meet you]. Then late one evening, I noticed my contractions becoming quite regular. I was so excited I didn't sleep all night. Early the next morning [Thursday], we took Parker and Maddie to Grandma and Grandpa's house, where we dropped them off and picked up Grandma. Grammy and Pappy met us at the hospital. A few short hours and 3 pushes later, and you were finally in my arms. Just like Mary Poppins, you were "practically perfect in every way." 7 pounds, 13 ounces. 21 inches long. Beautiful!
Daddy was able to take a week off of work to spend time getting to know you and to help me care for you and your brother and sister. Today is the last day of that week. I'm not sure how things will go next week. In fact, I'm more than a little nervous at the prospect of being home alone with the three of you. A wise friend instructed me to take it one day at a time. Best advice ever. I don't want to miss or squander a moment.
I love you, Squeak.
7/27/11
Perfect Timing
I ache. For the last 3-4 weeks, unless I am sitting fairly still, somewhere in my body, something hurts...a lot. I don't get it. Pregnancy has always kind of been my thing. In general, I have loved it. I don't get morning sickness, I love my hair, nails and skin, I love not trying to suck in my stomach for a 40-week stretch, etc. This time around, however, due to the physical pain, I just don't like it.
That is why, when I hoisted my enormous body into the van after my 39 week check-up, I was crying. I had been certain all of the late-night painful contractions were doing something. Wrong! "No change," the doctor smiled sweetly. "He just doesn't want to come out yet." Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Afraid my smile looked more like a grimace or perhaps a sneer, I asked, "Well what if I want him to come out?" "Oh don't worry," she laughed, "we won't let him walk out of you. We'll induce you before you reach 41 weeks." Oh gee, what a relief! Thanks! I hobbled back to the van.
Then I had a revelation today. As I was holding Maddie on my lap and kissing the top of her head, I realized that if Jack had already been born, these precious two hours of cuddle-time with my 2 year old would likely never have happened.
My church recently built a new auditorium with big screens. As part of their summer outreach program, they have offered family-friendly movies every Wednesday morning to anyone who wants to come (complete with free popcorn and bottled water). Let's just say I've taken full advantage of this program.
I was extremely diligent [militant] with Parker's T.V. viewing when I was a new mom. He had absolutely no television until he was two, and then it was watched very sparingly (a 15 minute show before bedtime). He was only 18 months when Maddie arrived, so the television was a part of her little life before age 2 (what would the pediatrician say?!). These days, I can see the benefit of a more relaxed attitude toward the television (though I am still pretty anal about how much they are allowed to view).
Maddie could care less. She often skips her "show" altogether, preferring to read or work a puzzle instead. Parker, on the other hand, is glued to any flickering image with the drooling, open-mouth stare of a drug addict getting a fix. Taking him to the movies is a cinch. Maddie loses interest, and we end up in the lobby playing pretend, reading, or doing a puzzle [it's amazing what I can fit into my purse].
So, while the summer movies at church have been fun, they have not been quite as relaxing as I had hoped. If Grandma can't join us, Parker ends up whining in the lobby, or Maddie ends up whining in the auditorium.
Today was different, however. I don't know if it was the movie (Despicable Me), the warm blanket I'd packed [thank you, ginormous purse], or Maddie acclimating to longer viewing sessions [perish the thought!]. Whatever the reason, Maddie watched the entire movie. It was heaven. Not just the sitting down without having to move part (which was also greatly appreciated), but the cuddle-with-Maddie-for-2-straight-hours part. Not since she was an infant has she been in my arms for that long a stretch. I rubbed her soft arms, smelled her hair, kissed her head. It brings me to tears knowing that my arms will be full of another person soon. As much as I can't wait for that to happen (and to be free of all this discomfort), I am so grateful for the blessing of today and the precious time spent holding my girl.
That is why, when I hoisted my enormous body into the van after my 39 week check-up, I was crying. I had been certain all of the late-night painful contractions were doing something. Wrong! "No change," the doctor smiled sweetly. "He just doesn't want to come out yet." Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Afraid my smile looked more like a grimace or perhaps a sneer, I asked, "Well what if I want him to come out?" "Oh don't worry," she laughed, "we won't let him walk out of you. We'll induce you before you reach 41 weeks." Oh gee, what a relief! Thanks! I hobbled back to the van.
Then I had a revelation today. As I was holding Maddie on my lap and kissing the top of her head, I realized that if Jack had already been born, these precious two hours of cuddle-time with my 2 year old would likely never have happened.
My church recently built a new auditorium with big screens. As part of their summer outreach program, they have offered family-friendly movies every Wednesday morning to anyone who wants to come (complete with free popcorn and bottled water). Let's just say I've taken full advantage of this program.
I was extremely diligent [militant] with Parker's T.V. viewing when I was a new mom. He had absolutely no television until he was two, and then it was watched very sparingly (a 15 minute show before bedtime). He was only 18 months when Maddie arrived, so the television was a part of her little life before age 2 (what would the pediatrician say?!). These days, I can see the benefit of a more relaxed attitude toward the television (though I am still pretty anal about how much they are allowed to view).
Maddie could care less. She often skips her "show" altogether, preferring to read or work a puzzle instead. Parker, on the other hand, is glued to any flickering image with the drooling, open-mouth stare of a drug addict getting a fix. Taking him to the movies is a cinch. Maddie loses interest, and we end up in the lobby playing pretend, reading, or doing a puzzle [it's amazing what I can fit into my purse].
So, while the summer movies at church have been fun, they have not been quite as relaxing as I had hoped. If Grandma can't join us, Parker ends up whining in the lobby, or Maddie ends up whining in the auditorium.
Today was different, however. I don't know if it was the movie (Despicable Me), the warm blanket I'd packed [thank you, ginormous purse], or Maddie acclimating to longer viewing sessions [perish the thought!]. Whatever the reason, Maddie watched the entire movie. It was heaven. Not just the sitting down without having to move part (which was also greatly appreciated), but the cuddle-with-Maddie-for-2-straight-hours part. Not since she was an infant has she been in my arms for that long a stretch. I rubbed her soft arms, smelled her hair, kissed her head. It brings me to tears knowing that my arms will be full of another person soon. As much as I can't wait for that to happen (and to be free of all this discomfort), I am so grateful for the blessing of today and the precious time spent holding my girl.
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